Tag Archives: people

Best. Break-up Letter. Ever.

6 Jun

Creative Break-up LetterI recently saw an article in Yahoo! Shine and had to repost it and ask the question:

“What is the worst break-up letter you’ve ever received and/or sent?”

This particular letter is from a woman who writes to her boyfriend and tells him how to find his personal belongings after finding a message from another girl, on his Facebook page.

Whoops!

Personally, I’ve sent letters to my exes that would make mothers wonder if they were raising their sons right, but never anything like this. When my ex (in 2008), stole my heart and beat the living crap out of it…I did sell his stuff on Craigslist. And, I did drop off a letter to his mother. She was the best way I could reach him, I promise.

Tell me, what’s the worst break-up letter you’ve received OR, the best break-up letter you’ve sent?

Doesn’t Like Short People

28 Nov

Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart.

Sometimes, I have to keep telling myself this with all the weirdos I come across.

For instance, weirdos like: DanZenGerZy from OKCupid.

Message 1:
“Hi. You are on my quiver match. Your profile sounds arrogant. Just being honest and straight forward. Bye.”

First off…my profile does NOT sound arrogant. Upon receiving this email, I went straight to the people who know me best, and asked for their most honest opinions. I even, went as far as, asking my male friends for their opinions.

The verdict? “You’re funny D, but if someone doesn’t have a sense of humor, they’re not going to get it. Your profile is fine. Don’t change it. That would be like changing your personality, and for what? A guy who’s mad because he didn’t fit your height requirement?”

So, I wrote him back. And, I was not nice. Can you blame me?

ME:
“LMAO! My profile sounds arrogant?

First of all…who posts ALL of their degrees and certifications on their profile?

Not to mention, you over-tell your life story in dollar signs. “I’ve got two cars…” “I waste my money on Louis Vuitton and Armani…” “I make 80K-100K…”

Who gives a shit? If you want someone to like you for all of your materialistic possessions…why don’t you look for love on I’m-Wealthy-And-A-Dumbass.com?

Just for the record, you were my Quiver Match too, but I hit “decline.”

Don’t get mad because you didn’t fit my height requirement.

And do me a favor…DON’T write me back.

Bye.

P.S. That hummer you have? It’s not real…it’s a fake GMC body. Why don’t you save up your pennies, instead of spending them at Armani, and buy a real hummer.”

But of course he wrote me back! Of course! And again, and again, and again. I never wrote him back, but HE felt the need to write me three more times. Fun times!

Message 2 – 10:46 a.m.
“Not a real hummer? So the real hummer is only those in the military? What do you have? Yes my other car is a 5 series.

You’re a dumbass. You thought you are so smart enough. Do you have a degree? Oh yeah, cooking? I bet you are just a high school grad. Lol

Nothing personal, just wanna argue.”

Message 3 – 11 a.m.
“Ah, arrogance on her driving. Wanna race? If i win, you will tell the world how arrogant and dumbass you are. Im a 4th place Drifting comp driver winner in union city, 2003. So what do you drive again? What’s your degree, cooking? Lol”

Message 4 – 11:13 a.m.
Anyway, you claiming yourself a good catch is arrogance. But you talk shit like a ghetto. Oh yes you are a cheap ghetto who cannot afford a Louis Vuitton or Armani. Social climber you. Your height makes you so small. I’m not attracted to you so don’t be so assuming like you always do. Most white girls like you doesn’t take a bath.

I just want to challenge you to prove to you that you are totally arrogant though has nothing.”

Don’t get me wrong, I realize that the way he wrote his profile, was meant to be funny and sarcastic…but I am pretty DAMN sure, that some of it is real.

And to think OKCupid matched us up at 86%. W-T-F-ever!

I think I’m going to change my profile to:

Dumbass. Arrogant. Ghetto. White Girl. Social Climber. Doesn’t like short people. Smells.

Think I’d get a guy???

W-T-F

28 Sep

Just got an email from a guy (Snowboardkidd) on OKCupid, whom I haven’t even spoken 10 words to yet, and he’s already asking me if we can be “friends with benefits.”

Really dude? Does that line really work for you?

First-ever message.

“Hi.”

My response: “Howdy.”

Second Message.

“How are you today?”

My response: “Great. How are you?”

Third message.

“Better, now!!!! :-)”

Fourth Message.

“What are you doing?”

My response: “Working. You?”

Fifth Message.

“I am off and bored. 😦 What do you do for a living?”

My response: “I’m a graphic designer for a hospital.”

Sixth Message. (Two days later.)

“I truly am not ready just yet for a “relationship.” Would you consider being friends with benefits with me until I got my head and heart cleared up?”

My response: blank stare

“You Smell Yummy”

21 Sep

I had to post this.

I just couldn’t help myself.

First of all…can I just say, “W-T-F?”

I just read the weirdest online article from The Houston Chronicle’s Lifestyle [29-95] section.

The title, “Sniff out your soul mate at a Pheromones Party Oct. 5,” couldn’t have been said any better.

Dating is hard either way you look at it. There’s blind dating, online dating, meeting people by chance, working with someone, meeting said someone at a networking event, etc.

Apparently, now you can “sniff” people out.

Houston Social Source (HSS), where Houstonians connect with ‘amazing singles in Houston,’ states that they help cut out the matchmaking middleman.

On Friday, October 5th, Houstonians from all over, will meet at Nouveau Antique Art Bar, and not only cut out the matchmaking middleman, they will be able to ‘sniff out’ their possible new mates at a first-ever Pheromone Party in Houston.

So what’s a pheromone party? Apparently it’s trending in the NYC, and Los Angeles.

The parties require homework though. Participants have to sleep in the same t-shirt for three nights and store them in plastic bags in the freezer. These tees are then brought to the party (in the bag), where members of the opposite sex get to scratch and sniff and find love.

So now we’ve become [dog] hounds now.

I think the HSS owner is on crack…but I guess I can’t knock it until I’ve tried it.

I hate to break it to my readers…but this is one dating experience that I’m NOT trying. For those that are interested, you can find details here.

Tell me, LikeOmigod Readers…would YOU go to these lengths to meet someone?

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