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Update

20 Jun

So…I broke up with the “Don’t Know What to Do” guy. Instead of calling him The Last Guy, I think I’m going to have to rename him Failure To Launch. That’s a whole other story for another day.

Another guy has asked me out recently and his name is “John.”

I have had all the bad luck I can possibly have with “John’s,” so I’m wondering if I should even attempt to go.

(Look for The Crapper and The Chemist stories soon!) Those idiot douchebags are “John’s,” too.

Sigh.

I’ll probably say “yes,” to this guy and only due to the fact that his baby blues are mesmerizing. He did say that I wouldn’t regret our date. Damnit!

I’ll let you know about it, soon.

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The Storm Trooper

5 Jun

The name speaks for itself. 61808

Yes, my date showed up in costume. Yeah. The. Big. White. Hard-cased. Suit. With helmet in hand (thank God).

Alan and I met online (I’ve really got to stop torturing myself and just find a man at the gas station or something), and immediately clicked. I was 30, he was 29 and in school at The University of Houston, getting his PhD in Political Science. A smartie!

[At this point in time, upon reading his profile, I didn’t get a vibe that he liked to dress in costume for first dates.]

Anyways, we had a lot in common and would talk on the phone for hours. We both liked the Houston Museum District/Hermann Park area, so we set up a date for an early dinner at a nearby Taco Shop and planned to head to Miller Outdoor Theatre for a concert afterwards.

Let me give you the stats for Alan. He is a 6’5″ male with broad shoulders…complete with a brillo pad of curly, brown hair and a large nose.

So, yeah. He showed up in costume and I didn’t run out the door. And no, I’m not on drugs. I hardly ever leave dates, no matter how bad they are. It’s the nice person in me. Unfortunately.

Anyways…after I got over my shock of him being dressed up and me being slightly embarrassed, we ordered dinner. I ordered a couple of tacos and a drink, and he ordered a burrito.

I think he knew that I wasn’t the woman for him and I definitely knew that he wasn’t the man for me, so we just made small talk. There weren’t any crazy awkward pauses which was good, and, I learned a new thing or two.

One Thing: Towel Day. Read about it here. There are no other words for it. But, he celebrates it and even dresses up for it. Yes, he wears a towel.

Two Thing: His perfect dream girl carries a sword and wears a short skirt and screams out “I’m (something that starts with the letter) Z!”

I guess the date wouldn’t have been so bad (completely), if he hadn’t started rolling up balls of foil (from his burrito) and throwing aiming for my cleavage V-neck shirt opening.

Yeah. That happened.

So, yeah…that’s the Storm Trooper. He was the first date I had in Houston when I moved down here.

Fun times. Fun times, indeed.

The Racist

3 Jun

The Racist…

Brandon and I met at a party and he was this tall, good lookin’, blonde-haired, blue-eyed charmer. He was former Navy and a liberal.

Now there’s a combination you don’t see often: military and liberal.

Brandon was sweet. We had our first date at a pub in downtown Denton and bonded over fish and chips, mussels, oysters and sweet kisses, when no one was looking.

We had politics, religion, food, life views and everything else under the sun in common. We’d talk for hours on the phone and on our dates, and when we’d part ways, he’d text me that he couldn’t wait to talk to me until next time.

Another interesting combination: a man that likes to talk and listen.

His unfortunate racist tendencies reared its ugly head on our fifth date. We were hanging out on his living room floor, with my head in his lap and watching old black and white movies, when he asked me the question that made me sit upright, argue, tear up and walk out of his house.
I noticed a hint of weirdness on our fourth date, but didn’t think anything of it and continued on with our day. He had come over to my house in McKinney as we had planned to explore the city and countryside. I was giving him the grande tour of my house, when he stopped to look at a picture on the wall of my second floor.

Him: “Who is that guy?”
Me: “What guy?”
Him: “The black guy you’ve got your arm around.”
Me: “Oh, that’s my friend D. He’s married to one of my close friends.”
Him: “Did y’all date?”
Me: “No! He’s like my brother. We’re just really good friends.”
Him: “Oh! Cool. Well, let’s go make our lunch.”

To be honest, I thought his questioning felt weird. But, his actions didn’t seem any different. He was still as attentive, PDAish and sweet, as he had always been.

We hung out the entire day, shared sweet kisses and hugs and made plans to see each other again in two days. Our fifth date.

As he brushed his fingers through my hair that day, also bending over to kiss the tip of my nose, my cheek, and my ears–our next dating encounter sent me chills. In the back of my mind, I was thinking, “I could get used to this.”

And then he asked me the last question that he’d ever ask me again.

“Have you ever been with a black guy?”

I immediately sat up and turned around to face him. I could feel my anger level rising just by looking at his face. He had this mean look of disgust, this look of “get off me,” if I dared say yes.

And, I did.

“Yes. I’ve been with a black guy,” I said.

I’m what my good friend Beverly, likes to call an ‘equal opportunity dater.’

He looked at me like I had the plague and pushed himself back from me. “I don’t think I can date you,” he said.

I’ll never forget that moment. A big tear welled up in my right eye and plunged down my cheek. My lips pouted and I felt completely blind-sided and sad. “Why not? What does me being with a black guy in my past, have anything to do with you and me, right now,” I asked him.

“Everything,” he said. “Black men don’t treat white women with the respect they deserve and it makes me sick that you’ve stooped that low and dated someone of color.”

Of color.

Who uses that terminology anymore? Seriously?

Where did he learn that? Who taught him to be like that?”

I picked up my things and told him I felt sorry for him and left.

Unfortunately, this is not the first racist encounter I’ve had in my lifetime. Unfortunately, there’s still stupid people out there…

Have you ever had a racist encounter when dating? Tell me about it.

Comfort Zone? What’s That?

18 Apr

Whoa! It’s been awhile since I last wrote. There are no awesome excuses as to why I haven’t written. I just didn’t want to. Plain and simple. I took a break from dating, so I took a break from my blog.

But, I’m back. And, with news.

No, I’m not getting married.

Actually, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone today and going on a date with a guy I’ve been talking to online for about a week.

Just a couple of months ago, I revisited OKCupid after deleting my profile some 9 months ago. I got back on because I was bored. I immediately went on some crazy dates (of course), but also met a really kick ass guy–with whom I’ve become really good friends with and now, Andrew.

Why is this out of my comfort zone, you ask? Well, because he’s 5’9″ and I don’t usually date guys shorter than 5’11”.

I’m a little freaked out by it…but even if we didn’t hit it off romantically, he might have tall friends and he’s got a fuckin’ awesome personality. And, that would be awful if we didn’t at least explore the idea of friendship.

So, I will let you all know how it goes.

Wish me luck!

P.S. Stacy…this is for you.

Doesn’t Like Short People

28 Nov

Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart. Some people are not as smart.

Sometimes, I have to keep telling myself this with all the weirdos I come across.

For instance, weirdos like: DanZenGerZy from OKCupid.

Message 1:
“Hi. You are on my quiver match. Your profile sounds arrogant. Just being honest and straight forward. Bye.”

First off…my profile does NOT sound arrogant. Upon receiving this email, I went straight to the people who know me best, and asked for their most honest opinions. I even, went as far as, asking my male friends for their opinions.

The verdict? “You’re funny D, but if someone doesn’t have a sense of humor, they’re not going to get it. Your profile is fine. Don’t change it. That would be like changing your personality, and for what? A guy who’s mad because he didn’t fit your height requirement?”

So, I wrote him back. And, I was not nice. Can you blame me?

ME:
“LMAO! My profile sounds arrogant?

First of all…who posts ALL of their degrees and certifications on their profile?

Not to mention, you over-tell your life story in dollar signs. “I’ve got two cars…” “I waste my money on Louis Vuitton and Armani…” “I make 80K-100K…”

Who gives a shit? If you want someone to like you for all of your materialistic possessions…why don’t you look for love on I’m-Wealthy-And-A-Dumbass.com?

Just for the record, you were my Quiver Match too, but I hit “decline.”

Don’t get mad because you didn’t fit my height requirement.

And do me a favor…DON’T write me back.

Bye.

P.S. That hummer you have? It’s not real…it’s a fake GMC body. Why don’t you save up your pennies, instead of spending them at Armani, and buy a real hummer.”

But of course he wrote me back! Of course! And again, and again, and again. I never wrote him back, but HE felt the need to write me three more times. Fun times!

Message 2 – 10:46 a.m.
“Not a real hummer? So the real hummer is only those in the military? What do you have? Yes my other car is a 5 series.

You’re a dumbass. You thought you are so smart enough. Do you have a degree? Oh yeah, cooking? I bet you are just a high school grad. Lol

Nothing personal, just wanna argue.”

Message 3 – 11 a.m.
“Ah, arrogance on her driving. Wanna race? If i win, you will tell the world how arrogant and dumbass you are. Im a 4th place Drifting comp driver winner in union city, 2003. So what do you drive again? What’s your degree, cooking? Lol”

Message 4 – 11:13 a.m.
Anyway, you claiming yourself a good catch is arrogance. But you talk shit like a ghetto. Oh yes you are a cheap ghetto who cannot afford a Louis Vuitton or Armani. Social climber you. Your height makes you so small. I’m not attracted to you so don’t be so assuming like you always do. Most white girls like you doesn’t take a bath.

I just want to challenge you to prove to you that you are totally arrogant though has nothing.”

Don’t get me wrong, I realize that the way he wrote his profile, was meant to be funny and sarcastic…but I am pretty DAMN sure, that some of it is real.

And to think OKCupid matched us up at 86%. W-T-F-ever!

I think I’m going to change my profile to:

Dumbass. Arrogant. Ghetto. White Girl. Social Climber. Doesn’t like short people. Smells.

Think I’d get a guy???

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